A Promise to Myself

This will be short but probably not sweet.  I made a promise to myself and to a friend that I would write at least once a week.  Today is my 27th birthday today.  My family was never really big on birthdays growing up, so to me it's just another day.  The best birthday I had was when I got to take some friends ice skating and I ended up cutting my skin on a friend's skate.  I still have the scar.  But typically it was just dinner, some presents, and then off to bed.  I look back and I don't really feel sorry for myself, but I know I want that to be changed for my boys. 

Neverending Journey

Day to day there are numerous distractions.  From your assignments at work, to fixing the car, to taking your kids to birthday parties.  It goes without saying, life is distracting.  It is easy to go a week, a month, even five years on auto pilot, perfecting your schedule trying to become more efficient.  Along the way you come face to face with challenges of all sizes, from trying to find your child's constantly lost shoe to tough emotional hardships of not being able to provide that month for your family.  Sometimes you run on pure adrenaline or pure emotion.  Either way you are trying to be in control of the mess that is life.


Growing older, I believe one of my major problems is relying on myself.  Relying on my wisdom, my talents, my skills, and my opinions.  Granted...they have gotten me far, however, if this is as much as I am going to know, I am in trouble. 

Revelations of honesty

The last couple months have opened quite the hunger inside of me.  No it hasn't been the hunger of more money, or more things, but of more conviction in my life.  I guess it started a couple years ago, slowly, and now has build up increasing pressure that can no longer hold.  The flood gates have opened.  It started with self-reflection of my heart and later my head.  This hunger has driven me to seek out my fuel, and where I find that is in honesty.


Looking back I fear that what was holding me back was honesty.  As I write this I am having this revelation that it was in fact honesty.  As a novice writer, delving into my heart by way of keyboard, God has shown me one of my true, darkest problems.  I fear complete honesty with everyone around.