Life Changing Music

Life can be extremely hard.  At times it feels that the challenges of life are experienced alone.  It seems as if no one cares and no one could understand the position you have been in. 

There have been a few highlighted times like this in my life, when all seems lost, when I've been at the end of my rope.  What hope has there been for me, where is the direction I've been needing?  Many times my support has been in the form of a song. 

Interview with a World Champion: Part I

Over the past few months I've had the opportunity to get to know someone who has had his share of struggles.  A man who has fought tooth and nail for the things he has wanted.  A man who has showcased to the world his passion, drive and desires.  The man I am talking about is the current and defending WBC and WBO light welterweight boxing champion of the world, and ranked as the #7 pound for pound fighter in the world, Timothy Bradley Jr.

What I wanted to know was how does that translate into his personal life.  Does the championship mindset come into play outside of the ring.  Below is part 1 of our interview:

Identity Recovery: Lost friendships

Graduating from high school is a harsh reality.  For those 13 years (including kindergarten), your brain is trained to believe that you will always have over 30 close friends.  Summer breaks tend to cool that assumption but once fall shows its face, you go back to your friend culture.

When I was in high school I had a few really close friends and a ton of good friends.  Once I graduated, I felt shell shocked.  If you attended a local college, you were fortunate enough to continue that friendship further.  However, if you moved away from home for college you came to the hard reality that you had to start over.  Sure...you would have your best friend still to talk to on the phone or by email.  But one thing you noted is that having to start over making friends is tough work.

A Nation of Quitters

"We are defined by what we do, not by what we don't do." 

This has been a motto I have tried to live by for the past year.  Too many times people focus on what they have not accomplished so far in life (marriage, kids, career, house), instead of what good they have done with this gift called life. 

Recently, my life has not reflected this motto in one aspect of my life.  This has been a big challenge as of late that has frustrated me.  What is it you may ask?......writers block.  Between being busier at work (which is a good thing), coaching tee-ball, leading a men's group, raising three boys, contemplating buying a house...I have let life get the best of my writing.

Constructive Criticism

Two years ago if you would have come to me and told me you have constructive criticism for me, the first thought in my head would be to grab my shield and sword and get ready for an epic battle.


My wife was the best at this.  Since marriage is tough and something you constantly have to work through, she would be the one to approach me with a relational update.  It was predictable.  Usually we would be sitting down for dinner talking and all of a sudden she gets quiet.  After a couple years I picked up on these ques knowing that the floodgates were about to burst open.  Credit to her, she never used the words "constructive criticism," but that was what she was trying to do.  She was trying to change me!  Or so I thought.

The Fear of Failure

Whether it be with business or personal issues, it seems failure is an issue we all have in common.  Growing up I knew kids who's parents would try their best to shield their child from failure.  That would show itself by not letting the kid participate in activities, or making them become over competitive to ensure success.  No matter how you were raised, at some point you have had to face this issue.

High school is where I really started to define what failure meant.  Since I did not have a good home life and always felt like a failure there, I would escape into things I knew I could succeed in.  I participated in sports year around and was captain of my teams, I was vice president of many on school clubs.  My grades were good, when i was never really pushed to get good grades.  I was internally always trying to win my moms approval because I was afraid to be found a failure in her eyes.

Business As Usual

For those of you that don't know what I do for a living, I am a Financial Consultant.  I get the opportunity to show people a glimpse of their dreams and help them get on the road to achieve them.  Many parts of my job are rewarding, but sometimes challenging.

Most of my clients are in the stage of their life planning for their retirement.  They have 401(k)s, IRAs, insurance policies.  Every now and then I will have a client just looking to make extra money on their investments.  But majority are hard working, driven Americans that want to retire comfortably.

Community Worship

One of the great opportunities I have in life is leading a small group for Sandals Church.  The fact that Sandals is in Riverside and all of the group members live in Beaumont, creates a tight sense of community.  Five years ago when Stephanie and I moved to Beaumont, the thing we were disappointed in most was that we were moving away from our church family.  Thank God today not only are we church members together but have grown to be best friends.

Ten months ago I stepped up and became the small group leader.  It has been my goal to be vulnerable, open, encouraging, and supportive of each other.  Occasionally we will switch the routine schedule and do something different.  Last week I decided to have a worship night.  With some inspiration from our marriage group leaders, I asked each member to pick the song that has been the most moving, inspirational, reflective song in their life.  I compiled the list and made a CD with all their songs to play.

Identity Recovery: The Hobbyist

Recently my wife and I watch the movie 127 hours with James Franco.  If you haven't seen the movie what the story is about is a guy goes out for an adventure and comes face to face with a problem when he falls and gets his arm wedged in a rock.  As you watch the movie, you realize it is about much more than that.  As hours and days go by, Franco has the opportunity to think of all the times he lived for himself, seeking his own pleasures.  In the meantime, people all around him are craving quality time with him.  At the end of the movie, he realizes that he got life wrong because of his selfishness.


The movie really spoke to me and made me look back on my life of when I first got married.  Through my college years, as I have shared before, I lived a very selfish life.  My goals and hobbies were my priority and I would not let anything get in the way of that.  When I decided to marry Stephanie and "settle down," I realized I did not know what it meant to "settle down."  For me, I wanted to pursuit my hobbies at the same rate.  The transition into marriage was very hard.  Now I had to call to tell someone where I was at?  I couldn't go straight from work to go rock climbing or snowboarding?  Why would my wife want to hold me back from things I love?

What's the Point?

In a Washington Post poll, the study found that 92 percent of Americans believe in God or a universal spirit.  Out of those polled, more than half said that they prayed at least once a day.  The study further goes on saying that most Americans believe that angels and demons are active and nearly 80 percent think miracles occur.


Our founding fathers had formed this country under Godly principles.  John Adams said, "Suppose a nation in some distant region should take the Bible for their only Law Book, and every member should regulate his conduct by the precepts there exhibited... What a paradise would this region be!"

Identity Recovery: The A-Hole

Although much of my life was lived with the attempt to choose the right choices, along the way I've taken ownership of times I have failed.  In specific there was a time where many of my choices ended up being terrible ones that not only affected myself but dramatically hurt others.


This time of my life is when I first got a taste of independence, a sip of freedom.  At 17, I moved out of my parent's house and moved in with a friend's family.  I could not take the constant oppression I was feeling by being controlled by my parents.  It was time to start a new life, and take ownership of my future.  The idea I had in my head was one of conquering this world.  Of showing everyone that I was bright, mature, strong, and able to slay dragons.  This was the time of my life where I started thinking about the boss, ME.

Identity Recovery: The Wound

In life you are allowed many freedoms and many choices.  You can choose where to go to college, who to marry, what friends you have.  With many things in life you have the ability to change your circumstance.  The one most important choice you have no control over is who your parents are.  As we know, there are broad examples of parenting which have the largest impact on your life.  This can be a determinate of your success.


When a boy grows up the first few years they are especially attached to their mother.  Being a father of three boys this example is lived out on a daily basis.  My oldest son, Ryland being four years old, is starting to learn what it means to be a man and to separate himself as an individual.  His brothers, on the other hand, being 2 and 1 still covet their mom as the center of their universe.  But there does come a time in every boys life where they detach from their mom and start the journey towards manhood.

Identity Recovery

I am not sure if my  blog can compete with this title.  A month ago a few friends and I discovered what is wrong with men, including ourselves.  We are trapped!  Our happiness, our feeling of self worth, our worship, our focus has taken a turn for the worse.  Men now-a-days have no idea of who they are.  This can start at an early age, not having their dad around or even worse, an abusive dad.  It can happen by their mom wielding control of the household, preventing them from ever seeing a glimpse of what it takes to be a man.


Over the course of this year, I want to commit a blog a month to uncovering this problem in our society.  Why is it so many men we know are making bad choices, living selfish lives, and refusing to grow up?  I talk out of discovery and not out of having a complete answer.  I would like to get feedback to as how you have seen this in your life in the past or even now.  What has kept you from believing you have what it takes to be a man?

Life Lately Updated

This blog is an update to what got my blog rolling in the first place.  My very first blog entry, which I was very reluctant to write (for some reason when I think blog, I think hipster) was about the road of recovery in my families finances.  The focus of becoming debt free started about two years ago since the vacation up in Montana.  Much has happened since then and things have happened since my first blog entry.  Here is the update.


Because of the recession and the fall of housing prices we had to make a choice that was hard, which was to sell our house.  When we bought our house 5 1/2 years ago we were not quite sure if/how long we would be able to afford it.  I mean I was 21 and my wife was 22 buying a new 1900 square foot house.  I was well aware of the financial burden that would be on us.  But we jumped in with both feet and were able to live there for 5 years.  What is funny is when we bought that house, our plan was to live there five years, sell it and buy something we really wanted.  Little did we know (or anyone else for that matter) how far the housing market would fall.

3 Reasons to Live

Many of my posts have been reflective on what changes have been happening in my life over the past couple years.  I have been introspective on the desire for growth in my life and have taken steps to accomplish that.  However I have yet to take the time to write about what is extremely important to me and also something that defines me in a heavy way.  I am talking about my three great boys.


Writing these blogs have been a way where I could be reflective on my own life and see the way God has grown me and also see the relationships I have developed over my life.  But my blogs are also dedicated to my boys.  Twenty years from now I want them to be able to read about my life and what I was going through to show them that I am someone that can help along their journey.  Also I want this to be a forum where I can unveil the enormous amount of love I have for them.  I want them to know specifically how they have impacted my life over the years so they can know that they are very loved.  So I want to share with you specifically the blessing of each of my boys.

The Power of Music

Some of the most influential things in my life mostly are people.  My parents, my wife, kids, pastor, great friends.  These people have been a huge asset that I cannot quantify.  But what happens when these people are not around and I am alone?  In my life, this is where music has stepped in and has been inspirational, thought provoking, emotional and has influenced my life.  I will take you on my journey of the different times in my life where music has affected me the most.


As a child I remember listening to music young.  Back in those days you were influenced by what other kids were listening to: New Kids on the Block, Criss Cross, MC Hammer, and the classic Vanilla Ice.  Looking back I can proudly say I am embarrassed that I ever let those sound waves come close to my ears.  Back then, this was just filler music, didn't really mean much or have much impact on who I was.

The Men In My Life

As men in the world, we are expected to be strong.  We are expected to slay dragons, to fight for the princess, to conquer the land.  There are great pressures to be successful in this, all the while never showing any weakness. 


I know this sounds like a fairytale or the latest blockbuster movie, the fact is, that it is just that.  It's garbage.  As much as I want to be the hero of this tale and fight like a warrior there is much that I lack.  This is just the truth. 


In a secular world where a Christian is bombarded with temptation, sin, anger, stress and much more, we have to accept the truth...we lose.  As mere mortals we lack the capability, we lack the endurance to fight on our own every day.  Too often this is what we do.  Life gets busy and as men we try to make the best of it.  We try to do our best, treating our kids nice, trying to talk to our wives nice, trying to keep in contact with friends on a regular basis.  We let life get the best of us and we get distracted. 

New Year's Resolutions

I wanted to wait a while until I posted my New Year's Resolution.  Most people have their list ready weeks before the drop of the ball, but by three weeks in they have already failed at half their list.  I believe there are two problems facing people and their failure with these goals. 


First, they make their goals too unrealistic, far reaching goals.  This almost sets them up for automatic failiure.  Yeah, it would be great to make double my income in the next year, but that just won't happen.  Second, people have very little self discipline.  Sure it's easy to create these list.  Just look at what you sucked and put that on the list.  The problem is that they do not create a system as to how they will achieve this.  Recently I asked a friend how they were going to lose weight this year.  They had no idea how to actually do that. 

The Problem With Writing

I have a new commitment to writing.  It is actually a New Years Resolution.  Those list are not something I usually attempt as most people make them too impossible to stick to.  This year being in accountability with solid friends I have chosen to participate in this timeless ritual.  This will be a list I will share with you in my next blog post, however one of the commitments I have made was to write a blog post at least twice a month.


The end of 2010 I was challenged by a friend's writing to look into my thoughts and emotions by putting them down.  This was a short lived habit that I had established in my early college years, but was not focused to continue the journey.  Also I think writing is something that is supposed to be shared as is challenges you the writer and others the reader to grow.  I think that is a reason why I stopped writing, because I was doing it old school in a journal.