Identity Recovery: The Hobbyist

Recently my wife and I watch the movie 127 hours with James Franco.  If you haven't seen the movie what the story is about is a guy goes out for an adventure and comes face to face with a problem when he falls and gets his arm wedged in a rock.  As you watch the movie, you realize it is about much more than that.  As hours and days go by, Franco has the opportunity to think of all the times he lived for himself, seeking his own pleasures.  In the meantime, people all around him are craving quality time with him.  At the end of the movie, he realizes that he got life wrong because of his selfishness.


The movie really spoke to me and made me look back on my life of when I first got married.  Through my college years, as I have shared before, I lived a very selfish life.  My goals and hobbies were my priority and I would not let anything get in the way of that.  When I decided to marry Stephanie and "settle down," I realized I did not know what it meant to "settle down."  For me, I wanted to pursuit my hobbies at the same rate.  The transition into marriage was very hard.  Now I had to call to tell someone where I was at?  I couldn't go straight from work to go rock climbing or snowboarding?  Why would my wife want to hold me back from things I love?


That was my state of mind and a very immature state of mind.  Thinking that my wife was keeping me from my passions made me harvest resentment and anger.  Those first two years of adjustment were very hard.  What I realized was that it was more a matter of respect than anything.  Also, I now had this wife that wanted to share in these experiences not keep me from them.  Once I realized that and I matured through the process, it started to allow positive growth in our marriage.


Being a husband and a dad, I've learned that I have to keep a fine balance between those duties and my other passions.  Recently that has been translated into finding myself way over committed with ministry.  Almost a year ago I felt like my commitments and hobbies were controlling me.  I was involved in way too much, things that I thought were very noble to participate in.  What I came to find out was that it was a detriment to my family.  Letting the extracurricular things in life get between you and your family is very dangerous.  Many people allow that to be the case for years and years, only to find down the road that it has placed a huge wedge where it has caused irreversible damage.


What are you letting control your life.  Is it watching football?  Spending too much time with the boys, when all your wife wants is for you to talk with her.  Do you find your weekends off are completely spent away from your family?  What's the point in getting married in the first place?  Having a marriage and family is about experiencing life together.  If your hobbies are not something that you can share with your family, you should rethink that hobby.  Don't let that hobby determine the success of your family.  Have control over your life, set the right priorities and you will not regret it.